A Decade of Living

A decade. Ten years. Ten years doesn't seem like that long until you realize that you will be lucky to get 9 of those in your life. It seems like even longer when you realize you are a third way through it. This is my third decade and probably the one that has impacted me the most. The last years have been like a lot of peoples: full of ups, downs, happy, sad, fun, boring... basically, life.
I do feel for posterity sake and reflecting it is important to reminisce and since aside from travel blogging I rarely keep a journal I shall take a moment to reflect back on the decade here.
The highlights:
- Got married, the first time.
- Changed schools three times, as it was the height of the teaching freezes and years of pink slips.
- Taught over 300 kids.
- Moved 11 times.
- Got divorced.
- Quit work.
- Lived in Fiji, Lithuania, and China while volunteering.
- Traveled to Fiji, Denmark, Lithuania x2, Latvia, Norway, Sweden,  Finland, Estonia, Germany, Czech Republic, Italy, Mexico, France, , Austria, Hungary, Poland, England, Netherlands, China, Turkey, Switzerland x2, Costa Rica, Uganda, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Nepal, Portugal, Spain, Qatar, Bangladesh, Ireland, Northern Ireland
- Completed humanitarian missions in: Fiji, Uganda, Nepal, Mexico and Bangladesh
- Started Global Read Aloud
- Started No Fluff Teaching Stuff
- Got Engaged
- Got Married
- Lost a Grandma
- Mom diagnosed with cancer
- Mom in remission
- 2 nephews born
- visited a dozen national parks
- lost 2 dogs
- gained 2 dogs
- spoke at a tech conference
- logged over 100 hours feeding baby squirrels, opossums, and birds
- harvested honey
-closed my photography business
-served in dozens of committees at work

Ten years is a lot. I'm sure I have not touched the surface but these are the big things coming to mind at the moment. 

read more "A Decade of Living "

Ireland. The Full Loop in November

This first blog is going to be tips and tricks for those considering Ireland and the second post will be all the personal stories about our trip.

So you’re considering a trip to Ireland, good job! Ireland is stunning and should be on your list. I spent hours researching if we should risk renting a car, going in November, and the things to do. Here I’ll guide you through my findings and hopefully save you the time.
1. November?
I had a really hard time deciding whether doing this trip over Thanksgiving was going to be a huge mess. I read blog and blog about rain, wind, shortened days, places being closed, etc. But... we went anyway here is what we found:
- It did rain. Of course, it’s Ireland. Bring umbrellas and rain jackets or ponchos and you’ll be fine. Out of 9 days we had 2 days of pure straight rain. About 2 days of sun and the rest were totally mixed.

-We did not experience wind. We even went to some of the windiest places and had no wind.

-It IS dark. Oh boy it is dark. The sun comes up around 8 and sets around 4. You have got to move fast during the light because there are some roads you do not want to drive in the dark. This being said we were still able to do everything we wanted and we used our nights to relax, eat, travel sometimes, read, etc. Would we have liked to go in summer when the days are full and you can do more? Of course but we still managed fine with the 8 hours a day we were given.

- Places DID close earlier. Most places the last admission was 3:30 so you HAVE to plan your days or you will miss out.

- Some smaller places were closed for winter but we only experienced that with tiny castles the rest was open.

2. Driving/Car Rental
- To be transparent I didn’t drive and am thankful I didn’t. My husband drove the whole time and we returned the car unharmed! :) 

- Insurance. The best way to do this is to use your Chase Credit card. Deny ALL insurance ALL of it even basic CDW and book the car on the Chase CC under the name of whomever will drive. Do NOT forget this. If you book it and someone else is driving you will have to pay a second driver fee. I had a hard time finding an online place that would let me deny all insurance. I ended up going to budget. Go to Budget pick a car: the smaller the better, make sure you deny all insurance. It will put a hold on the car but not charge you anything. Then call Chase and tell them you need a letter to drive in Ireland. They will email it to you. The car rental will ask for this letter so bring it. 

- Most cars are manual and will save you on gas and the rental price. If you know how to drive stick do this to save $. It is weird doing it with your left hand but my husband managed just fine.

- Get the smallest car you can. We got a citigo and it was great! It held our 2 rolling carryons and backpack in the small trunk. The backseat would have been big enough to fit a large checked bag.
- You do have to pay a ton of fees. Fee for airport, fee to go to Northern Ireland, etc. 
- They will put a 5,000E hold on your cc if you deny all insurance but if you bring the car back unharmed this goes away. 
- They will charge you 91E for gas and if you bring the car back full you get the 91E back. 
- There are tolls and one of them is cash only! You need cash! They did take pounds which was a lifesaver bc we didn’t have cash. 
- We did the whole island and had about 8E in tolls. 
- The car cost us about 120E for 9 days.
- We filled up three times maybe three and a half. Gas was 1.45 per liter which adds up. I would say we spent about $200 in gas. 
- The roads are narrow and there are stone walls lining them. It was a bit scary at times but for the most part totally fine just stay between the lines.
- Almost all roads were small back country roads. There was only one freeway type road and never over 3 lanes. That was on the way to dublin and was the first road that was like back home. The other 80% of the island was one lane roads or two lanes one in each direction. The one lane roads have pulls outs along them so you can pull over for a car to pass.
- Street lights aren’t really a thing and the roads are dark. There were a few nights my husband was very unhappy driving the tiny, twisty, back roads in the rain and fog.
- There are a lot of weird street signs. Do a little research before you go. 
- Go on google maps and download an offline map of Ireland. This is essential. This will give you full access to maps and driving directions. Do it on everyone’s phone who is going incase one phone dies. You can then place pins and save them on all the places you are visiting. Do not forget to do this for your hotels. We did this and were totally fine without internet the entire journey. 
- Bring a cigarette plug charger for the car. Or one of those chargers that doesn’t need to be plugged in. 
- If you want music or podcasts download before and bring an aux cord.
- I would 100% recommend getting a car. It gives you complete freedom to explore and it isn’t as scary as people make it out to be.
3. Eating
- Food is expensive. When you go to dinner you will expect to pay about $20 per person in a restaurant. Some lunch specials will be around $12 but we normally spent $20. Grocery store is of course cheaper and bread, meat, and cheese in the grocery store is very affordable.
- There really isn’t fast food or as they would say carry out. Some of the bigger towns had a place called Apache Pizza and the gas stations called GreenApple have Subway. The only big town with fast food is Dublin and Belfast. The towns are just made up of small restaurants. 
- They eat dinner later. Restaurants won’t do dinner until around 6. Many restaurants are not open before 5:30. Some will advertise all day food. 
- Most if not all hotels have restaurants and this is a great choice for eating as well.
- If your hotel offers breakfast and you can buy it as part of your package do it. Breakfast was usually 10 to 16 E so if you can book a room with it, do. Breakfast consists of: beans, eggs, sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms, and some sort of bread. The fancier ones then have a cold selection too: museli, cheese, cold cuts, yoghurt, fruit, etc. Our nicer hotels had beautiful breakfasts. We usually ate breakfast and them did nuts and bars for lunch and went out for dinner. 
- The gas stations actually have quite a bit of food: fruit, scones, bread, cheese, meat, etc.

4. Budget/ Lodging
- Northern Ireland is cheaper than Ireland. While you would think because they are on the pound it would be more expensive... no. Buy your souvenirs, snacks, fill the car, etc here. Food was cheaper, gas was cheaper, the grocery store was way cheaper, hotels, everything. 
- Everything costs $ even all the nature things. People will say you don’t have to pay etc but the fact is there is no where else to park and taking your time trying to find other places to park isn’t worth it. If you read that at Giant’s causeway you can just walk through the tunnel- that is only if you parked somewhere else and walked in. If you park at the visitor’s center you have to pay. There are people standing outside who will check. To be honest I have no idea how much we spent. 
- Don’t eat out everyday. Use the grocery stores. 
- We spent about $1500 on air tickets because we wanted to go over Thanksgiving. You can get tickets way cheaper than this. I would say $500 RT and under is a must book and feel good about. We spent $750 but I would totally spend that again to do this trip. 
- Our hotels and airbnb averaged $100 a night. We splurged one night and spent about $300 to stay in a really nice castle (Dromoland) which was amazing! We got the cutest cabin in the woods with a wood burning fireplace for $80. That place is called the Wood Cutter’s cabin and I fully recommend.
-The Lake Hotel was in a beautiful spot with gorgeous views and a lovely breakfast. $130
- We stayed at Horse and Jockey $100 outside of Cashel and their bakery is awesome. The restaurant was really yummy too. 

5. Temperature
- It was a range from 40-50 on our trip during the day. We wore thermals twice on the days we were outside all day and it was closer to 40. I absolutely love the thermals from Uniqlo. They are thin and so cozy. Gloves, a scarf, and hat were also nice. Loved having my waterproof boots since we were in water quite often. We used our umbrellas and were glad we had them. If you take a day pack always have them in there. We brought ponchos but totally forgot we had them.
- It was not as cold as we thought it would be and for the most part were fine in leggings, books, long sleeve shirt, vest, and jacket.

6. The Whole Island?
- Most take two weeks to do the whole island. We did it in 7 days. Was that insane? Yes! Did we do it? Yes! Would I do it again? Yup!

- I usually plan a trip as if I am not going back. If you are like me then do the whole island. If you plan to go back to places then do half and spend more time in each place. Our trip was not for the faint of heart and we spent 50% of it in the car. I wish we had 10 full days but we needed time for travel on both ends.

- If I had to cut anything I would cut Dublin and Belfast. We didn’t dislike either but with a crunched schedule... skip it.

Here is how we did our trip and my notes on it:
1. Left Thursday night from LAX and arrived via London to Dublin Friday night.

Slept just north of the airport in an airbnb.

* pay extra for a direct flight
2. Day 1: Drove to Belfast did the Titanic museum and St. George’s Market and then drove to The Dark Hedges.

*The Titanic Museum was ok. I was expecting more Titanic, aftermath, and maybe relics but it is more history of Belfast, shipbuilding, how Titanic came to be. It is a really nice museum but with our short time I would have skipped it. That being said skipping it makes for one LONG drive to Northern Ireland. We spent about 1.5-2 hours. Don’t skip the shipbuilding ride: it was cool!
* I loved St. George’s market. You need cash. This was the only thing we used cash for besides the one toll. If you are a foodie or love markets like I do, go here for lunch! I’m still dreaming of the scone I had here. We spent about an hour and a half bc we had to find an atm.
* We then raced up to The Dark Hedges. You can park your car at The Dark Hedges Hotel. We have never seen Game of Thrones but the trees were great and a nice walk. You need about 30 minutes here.
*We slept in Corelaine. I would have slept right by Carrick-A-Rede bridge if doing it again.

Day 2
Carrick- A-Rede bridge, Giant’s Causeway, and Dunluce Castle + a long drive to Sligo
* Carrick is a must do. It is stunning. The cliffs, colors of the water, and little bridge are amazing. The bridge is much smaller than I thought but go here! I think it was like 8E a person. It is so pretty. We were lucky and got sun on this day.

* Giant’s Causeway, a must. Park at the visitor’s center, pay 12.50E per person and get the audio set which is included in the price. Walk down. If you are going to bus take the bus up to save time but walk down and listen to the audioguide. We spent about 1.5 hours here but wish we had longer to do the hikes. You could spend hours and hours here doing the hikes.
*Dunluce castle was cool. Maybe like 4E a person and beautiful views. There is a subterrain part but it was closed while we were there. We did this in about 30 minutes because we had to get on the road.

* If I was redoing this trip I would have given myself two days in the north. One day for Giant’s Causeway and to hike and one day for Carrick and Dunluce and to drive.

* We slept in Sligo to break up the 5+ hour drive to Galway.

* Of you wanted to lengthen your stay I would go to the Abbey and the Aran Isles.

Day 3: Galway and Cliffs of Moher
We drove to Galway and walked the adorable town. I wish we had an extra day and had taken a day here to do the Aran Islands. I easily would have traded Belfast or Dublin to do these islands. We then raced to Cliffs of Moher and after slept at the Dromoland castle. 

* Aside from giving a day to Galway and the Aran Islands I suggest if going during bad weather you make sure you sleep somewhere with driving distance to the cliffs incase they are totally fogged out the day you planned to see them. You do not want to miss these. 

* We arrived to the cliffs about 3 and it was complete fog. We were devastated and left. But, realizing we would miss the Dingle Peninsula if we left we turned around and went back. I am so glad we went back because the fog lifted, the sun came out fully, and we had a glorious sunset and two hours there. When you buy a ticket they will let you use it the next day if it is foggy. 

* You will want at least two hours here and good walking shoes. We started at the right and then walked the entire cliff length on the left. the views are you go to the left get more and more amazing around each bend. You will want to keep walking and not just go where the main visitor’s center is. It will say extreme danger, use caution, leaving visitor area but there is still a path. If you can be there at sunset... wow. We were at the very last point at sunset and it was stunning. 

* We stayed at Dromoland Castle an hour from the cliffs which was great but I wish we had more time to explore the castle grounds. In my ideal world I would have arrived at check in and left at check out. They have a lake, boats, archery, amazing bath tub, hawk walks, just so many things. Make sure you get breakfast it is fancy and so good. 

Day 4: Dingle Peninsula
This day we did the drive around the Dingle Peninsula and then drove to Kilarney to sleep. 

*This day was pure rain and fog. Honestly I don’t know if I would do it if it was raining and foggy again. It’s a lot of drive time. Especially if you have already been doing a trip at crazy speeds. Ben said he would do it again even in the rain. 

* We did the following:
- stopped in the town and ate murphy’s ice cream
- stopped and saw some of the Beehive huts
- look at the cliff side even though it was total fog
- stopped at Dunquin Harbor: get out and walk down the road- that is where the views are awesome
*Take a picnic lunch and eat it on one of the pull offs. 

* Download a driving tour. I saw one where you would set your mile marker and then it would give you points of interest along the way. I thought opening the webpage would allow me to view it but it didn’t so take pictures or print it out. I would have liked this place better if it wasn’t rainy and foggy and if I knew what I was looking at. 

Day 5: Ring of Kerry
We started at the Lake Hotel and did the full loop. 

*I would put two days here. On the first day I would do the loop and on the second I would focus on Kilarney National Park.
*The Ring is stunning! We drove clockwise and the first half of the drive to the Kerry cliffs was magical the second half was blah. 

* Make sure you have at least an hour at the cliffs. This was our favorite spot in Ireland. Go to the right and look over the right rail and wow! Then walk the entire thing. Go up the hill to the point. The cliffs are magical. If it was summer we would have done the boat tour to Skellig island. 

*Bring a picnic lunch you won’t want to use precious time in a restaurant here. 

* I would have loved one entire day in Kilarney national park. It is so pretty! I would have taken time to hike. We stopped at Ladies View, Molls Gap, and the waterfall. The drive in the park 🥰 perfection. 

Day 6: Dunloe and Cashel
This day we planned to go to
Cork/Cobh and Cashel but loved the National Park so much we decided to spend the morning at Dunloe’s gap instead of Cork/Cobh. 

*Dunloe’s gap is worth it! Lots of people we saw parked at the bottom and waked up the entire thing. That would have been a long and lovely hike if we had time. We drove it and wow! 

* We then headed to Cashel and got there after the last tour which was at 2:30. I think you would really benefit from a tour. Our experience would have been more meaningful if we had a tour. 

Day 7:Dublin
We did Trinity College, Temple Square, St. Stephen’s Park, and Ha’Penny Bridge. 

*We didn’t love Dublin and if trying to do the island in just a week we recommend skipping Dublin. It wasn’t our favorite way to end vacation. 

* The traffic is HORRIBLE and I say that as someone who lives in LA. It was the worst traffic I have ever been in. Park once and walk. It took us over two hours just getting in and out of the city.
* There is tons of food here- so plan to eat out
*Trinity College was pretty cool and seeing the long room was awesome even though it is smaller than it seems.

* Temple Square area was how I pictured Irish pubs. 
* If you like exploring cities you will enjoy Dublin but for us Ireland is about the countryside and beauty of the land.

read more "Ireland. The Full Loop in November"

Married

Three weeks ago I got married. Here is the narrative of that wonderful day to help me remember in 50 years.

Friday, July 12 we got sealed in the Newport Beach Temple at 2:00. When we got there I was so hungry I texted Abby and said get some snack packs from Ralphs. She had those waiting in the bride room and as I sat there waiting to go to the Celestial room Sarah and I ate grapes, crackers, and cheese and chocolate lol. Then I headed to the Celestial room to sit with Ben until our guests were seated. It was a small ceremony of about 20 people- my best friends and his immediate family. Some of my aunts and uncles from my mom's side were there and Brother Dalton- someone Ben grew up with sealed us. I think the greatest part of the sealing is that we are sealed for time and all eternity and never have to have the "death do you part." The sealing was intimate and sweet. I didn't get emotional which I definitely thought I would but just being there with him was great. 

When it was over we were greeted outside the temple by everyone and all the little kids. We took lots of pictures - it was way too hot and I was so over it- come to find out Ben never ate his snacks so he was beyond done with photos lol. We headed to the park across the street for a little luncheon and family visit. 

I remember standing in Nanci's living room with my arm linked in my dads saying oh I am going to cry and he responded don't start that or I will too. Then we both started to cry as Marry Me played by Train and he escorted me down the aisle. I remember walking out, teary eyed, and being blasted by smoke. My first thought was the bbq was the worst idea. Luckily as I continued the smoke cleared and Ben appeared. Standing there on top of the rocks (We did our reception in his parent's backyard. They have a massive pool and a big rock structure waterfall. When we were trying to decided where to have the ceremony Ben suggested let's just do it on the waterfall center of the yard. First I laughed at him until I realized it was actually a really cute location.) My dad walked me up to him, Abby took my bouquet, and Ben and I held hands. I had two memories: 1. Wow that is a lot of people, if I keep my hair pulled out front I can hide. 2. Why are people drinking beer? Did they bring their own-- I forgot we had long neck Rootbeer. My dad then performed a sweet ceremony where he cried and I cried and Ben... Ben didn't cry, lol. I then went first with my vows and started to cry so hard. I couldn't say them. So I stood there in front of everyone until I could compose myself enough to speak. Then Ben talked. It was so sweet.

Once vows were done my dad introduced us and the music Best Day of My Life stated to play- flower girls started to exit and then Barry, Ben's dad came out of nowhere and wanted to talk. Hahaha. He is cute. Unfortunately, we were not prepared and the mic was not working so no one could hear him. He said a scripture about a man not going to work and being home with his wife for a year. After he was done we walked out as Mr. and Mrs. 

We went out and took pictures and spent the rest of the time saying hello to people. There were SO many people there. It was introduction after introduction. Probably 200 people there. It was fun. My best friends were all there which made it a little hard because I just wanted to visit with them and spend time with them. Mikelle and Michelle drove out from Utah and Sarah flew out from Chicago with her mom and new baby.

Everyone was casual and the picnic area looked so cute! The dessert bar was perfect and full of yumminess. Ice cream and big sticks were passed, we had long neck rootbeer, a fruit stand with fresh fruit from my dad's trees. We had a BBQ going with hamburgers, hot dogs, pasta salad, chips, corn. We had a firepit in the back with s'mores. Games were on all the tables. I remember trying to play the dance music and getting that to go but it never started lol. Ben and I danced to I prayed for you and it was sweet to just be with him. We cut our little tiny Sprinkles lemon and coconut cake- so delicious and ate Diddy Reise cookies. My only regrets there were not saving some for the next day. 

When we did our sparkler exit someone stepped on my dress and the back popped open and seem ripped- so I had to hold it up as we left and then someone was blocking us in so we just went back in the house LOL.

read more "Married"

The Last Ring

The Last Ring

It all started after the divorce. It was a new start, a new beginning, and 

a whole new world of dating with a lot more explaining. 

This was 6 years ago. 

6 years ago I got my first plastic ring which started the journey of laughter, fun, and relationships but also the journey of tears, heartbreaks, and questions.

These rings started innocently enough. I had just started dating again and was meeting people from all over the LA area and beyond. As a kid my dad used to take us to the arcade on the Santa Monica Pier. We would play skee ball, the old kind with the brown balls, not this new digital stuff, and take pictures in the photo booths. As I got older high school boyfriends and I would go to the arcade and then the same routine continued into my twenties. When you have a pocket full of quarters and old rigged games tickets don't come easily so after an hour or two of fun we headed to the ticket counter. I would always walk away with a plastic ring, only 10 tickets, and a symbol of a fun date. The male in question would usually have one too that went half way down his knuckle. We would take a picture, laugh, and then by the time we got to the car they would come off. 

Well, when I started dating again the Santa Monica Pier became an easy date spot; cheap, fun, engaging, and you can check out their competitive side. 

A couple boyfriends/ dates in I made it to the car, took off the ring, and threw it into the coin collector. But this time I realized there were a heck of a lot of rings in there.  I joked to a friend that they were my tokens I take from each of my men and it became the running joke among friends and roommates. They would always ask, "Have you taken him to the Pier yet?" and laughter would ensue. 

I found it quite funny until I had a whole handful of rings and years continued to pass.  

I didn't understand why none of these cheap plastic tokens were turning into the gold band and diamond I was longing for. There were many nights I cried and asked why, sat with friends and discussed what wasn't working, why dating sucked, what  I needed to change or fix, why I was 'broken', and on and on. Why was it that someone always liked the other one more, someone was too afraid to commit, someone couldn't develop feelings they wanted...

I remember one of the rings. The green butterfly. Just kidding, I have no idea what ring he was, plus I have like 5 green butterflies. However, this ring broke me at the time. I was so into this guy. Like romantic movie, high school crush, gab to all the girls, dreamy eyed, into this guy. He was educated, intelligent, handsome, accomplished, and so talented. I was able to open up and talk to him so easily and I laughed more than I ever had before. I wanted it to work so badly but, it didn't. The night he told me I hung up and then sat on the floor and sobbed. Ugly sobbed. It was like the flood gates had broken and all the past dates, past boyfriends, break ups, hurt, and sadness from the past years came pouring out to the floor. I literally cried myself to sleep that night. 

With the next ring came a longer relationship. This relationship had so many spiritual encounters and felt so guided by God's hand. However, after months, I still wasn't developing those love feelings. I had no idea what was wrong but they weren't coming. I finally kneeled and earnestly prayed about the guy and my heart and felt it wasn't right. This was equally as confusing because I had had so many promptings to stay and to make it work over the previous months. I knew I was going to crush the guy but I also knew what I needed to do. After that ring I truly thought I was broken; incapable of feeling love. Maybe I was too old, too set in my ways, too independent, too...

A few more rings. A few more stories. 

And then another match on another dating site. I had matched with this guy before a few months earlier but it was a short conversation and didn't go anywhere so when we matched again I was a little more aggressive. After a few messages and phone calls he asked me out... to the Santa Monica Pier. His idea was dinner and mine was of course the arcade. So, we did both and I once again walked away with a ring that once again ended up in my very full coin collector. 

Six dates later I texted my mom and best friend: Mark my work on this day, he is THE one. 

Just like that, I knew. I knew he was the one I was going to marry, or at this point, hoped I would marry. 

What changed? I did. 

Could I have married the other guys? Sure. Could it have worked out? Maybe. Could I have been happy with them? Probably. But did it happen? No. 

And I know it was because of the Lord and his timing. 

Now, let's get religious for a moment. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I believe in eternal families. I believe in marriages that last for time and all eternity. I believe in progression, in Jesus Christ, in the bible, the Book of Mormon, in modern day prophets and apostles, in revelation, in serving your fellow man, in prayer, in spiritual guidance through the Holy Ghost. I also believe there are temples today same as in the ancient days where we can go to worship, learn, and make covenants with God. 

In our church we marry in the temple, the house of the Lord, where we are sealed together. We kneel across from one another at an altar where we join hands and make promises to one another and God. 

In our church this is a big deal because it is the number one most important decision you will make in your life since you are choosing a partner... forever. 

We always say: the right person, the right time, the right place.

I never had the right place.

I had struggled with the temple, deeply struggled to understand, my heart was closed, my worldly eyes were fully open, and I wasn't ready to let God in. After many years my heart was finally softened, I started to read the scriptures, fast, pray, seek council, talk with loved ones, and ask a lot of questions.

My heart changed completely. I remember calling a friend and getting teary eyed as I said I want to go back to the temple and I want you to take me. I recall feeling like someone else was saying those words as my earthly body watched. It was a really special experience. 

I went every week for six months in an effort to better understand my religion, Jesus Christ, and the covenants I was making to God and you know what... it was in that time that I met Ben. It was in that time that we started dating. It was in that time that my testimony and understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ grew stronger. Ben and I would have never worked without this change. We would have never made covenants that sealed us together through time and all eternity without this change. I would have never traded my plastic rings for a stunning flawless diamond laid in a gold band without this change.

I am in no way saying that you have to be a temple going member of my church to finally stop dating and find your Mr. Right. What I am saying is 

There is a God. He does know you. He does have your best interest at heart. He hears your prayers, your cries, your sobs. He listens. He wants you to have joy. He is working on you. He is working on him. He has his timing for a reason. 

Maybe you aren't ready. Maybe your spouse isn't ready. Maybe someone else used their free agency to mess things up. Maybe there is more growing that needs to happen. But he is there. 

Don't give up. Don't give in. No matter how many plastic rings you collect there is something a little more shiny waiting. 

Enjoy the journey.

read more "The Last Ring "

Bangladesh, The Final Thoughts

Today things got real. It’s going to take me awhile to fully process the thoughts and emotions but let’s talk this out. 

PC: Jaron Horrocks 

This morning we got together and assembled hot food kits. Styrofoam container, (yes, my inner environmentalist freaked out but I held it together) white rice, a piece of chicken and slice of potato. Assembling was actually quite fun as I was in the rice room which consisted of a bedroom with a massive tarp filled with rice. If your a tactile person like me you would have enjoyed this too. I was really tempted to climb in and have me an adult rice sand box but I maintained control. ;)
Once we finished one thousand boxes we loaded the truck and headed to the camp. Little did I know the chaos that would ensue.

PC: Jaron

Upon arrival we discussed our “plan”. We moved a van into place to create a tunnel and help with crowd control. After making sure everyone was lined up and each volunteer had a job we began to let the little children come through to pick up a meal. As they grabbed their food we marked their hand with a marker to attempt to keep order and a system where we knew who was already given food. Within minutes the crowd began to intensify. Emotions grew. Bodies pushed forward. Hands began to grab. Kids began to cry. Adults pushed kids out of the way. Volunteers immediately tried to get order but were being swarmed by people m. With the help of the locals they were able to literally push back the people and attempt to regain control. Men with sticks whacked the ground in an effort to scare people back and at times hit people. Kids still cried. Adults still pushed. Volunteers still used their bodies as barricades. Once again they let a few through at a time and we continued to hand out food and the crowd continued to grow in desperation.
I cannot fully explain to you the situation as people swarmed, begging, pushing, grabbing, doing everything they could to get food. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was quite and emotional experience.

PC: Jaron 

How do you tell the child wearing only a ripped and tattered shirt that he can’t have a second meal?
How do you turn away the girl barely old enough to walk wearing pants held up with rope and no shoes that she can’t have another meal for her mom at home?
How do you tell the crippled old man he has to wait until the children have come through?
Do you not give out hot food? Is there a better way to maintain order and organization? Is there something else that would be more helpful to spend money on?
There has to be a better system. I’m not sure what it is but I know there is a better way.

When this emotional whirlpool ended we headed to a living structure to hear the stories of four women. The women each told us their account of fleeing as we sat on a mat in a dark room, lit with only a small window light. The women told of the military coming in the early morning and shooting into the village. They talked of watching babies be shot while people ran for their lives. They talked of hiding in the rice fields while the military took away the men and put them in prison and beat them. They talked of their homes being burned to the ground as they fled for their lives. They shared of their river crossing and selling their rings and gold to pay the men to take them across the river. They shared of their hunger pains as they made the journey. They shared their tears with us as they shared their stories.

These deeply dark and emotional moments were overcome by the times spewing forth with joy. Each time we entered the camp and the children ran to us will huge smiles greeting us with the little English they knew. Each time a bubble was popped or a balloon tossed and their laughter filled the room. Each time the locals peered out of their huts and a shy smile spread across their face. Each interaction a little more hope and a little more love that spread.

One of my favorite moments was a very intimate prayer session with Becky, one of the volunteers. Becky herself is a light and Inspiration  to the world and I hope to be a little more like her each day. She is capturing stories of the Rohingya in the camps, learning of their faith and devotion, their stories, and turning them into a book. The session I sat in with her  had us with one woman in her humble structure. Bare bamboo walls and a single mat on the floor welcomed us as we sat together. She taught us the movements of prayer and together we prayed. She then told us of her love for God and how God watches over and helps us. She shared her story of loss and death as she fled her country and how her faith has helped her. Sitting in that room we were all overcome by the spirit as tears escaped our eyes. It was the most spiritual experience and such a tender time.

It was in that moment that I realized that religion ties us together. It unites even the most different of faiths and people. Bringing us together not in our differences of beliefs but in our united belief that there is a higher being watching over all of us in all parts of the world.

In my final reflections on this trip I think what also stands out to me the most is the special journey this was as I did it not for myself but for my kids, for the entire fifth grade class. One hundred kids were able to experience the refugee camps from afar and to lean the stories of the survivors. They were able to learn about another culture and open their eyes to a different part of the world. Talking with them each day and showing them an entirely different way of life was a special experience.
Why do we serve? Sometimes it may not have the greatest impact but the impact it has on ourselves is truly great. We can take that impact and spread it to our families, communities, work places, and more.
There will always be sorrow, hate, and sadness in this world but we can combat it with charity and love. No matter the darkness there is always a light and I’m glad I was able to spread just a small bit of it this week.

read more "Bangladesh, The Final Thoughts"

The Shower

Yo. So. Let’s talk. Right now I’m laying in a bed which is covered in stains, the pillow feels as though- I can’t even begin to describe it because to even call it a pillow is offensive, the blanket... well do you think it was ever washed? The headboard is scattered in what could be mold or other fluids, mosquitos swarm above my head, Cock roaches crawl in my bathroom and my shower spewed forth a thick black sludge... WHILE I was in it.

Want to know what I’m doing... laughing. Because you can’t make stuff like this up. I’m grateful there is spotty WiFi and I’m grateful there is AC. Sometimes things suck but it’s way worse for a lot of people. I’m positive that what I’m going to walk Into tomorrow at the camps will make this feel like luxury. Keeping perspective is so important and while I can’t wait to go home to my down feathered, memory foam, temperature controlled, Egyptian cotton lined bed, for now, I’m grateful for what I do have.

But please pray I don’t get malaria and bed bugs. ;)

The shower though.... guys. It’s hot and humid. Y’all we are basically sweaty messes and we’re so happy to come back and shower. I got up here and hopped in right away. This is one of those high class showers where the shower head is just coming out of the wall in the one room bathroom so you shower yourself and wash the bathroom at the same time... yeah.

There are five handles and I can’t figure out which are which and my roommate hasn’t come up yet. So I keep yelling for Chante wondering where she is as I’m dashing in and out of the cold water. I finally soap up my hair and prepare to face the cold when.... it just stops. All the water disappears. Odd I think to myself so I back up and what a blessing because black thick chunky slime begins to spew forth. I jump out of the way as quickly as possible and finally hear chante. I’m shrieking for her to come out and apparently she’s in the hall yelling bc she’s locked out but also has two men trying to deliver some fruit. Black sludge spewing forth, a towel that should be a hand towel trying to cover me, I run to the door and let her in while hiding from the men. We get them into our bathroom and I run to Wendy’s room down the way trying to explain the situation.

Well long story short I’m not using that shower and am stuck in Wendy’s room in a little towel with shampoo hair. 😂

I die.

update: bucket showered the shampoo out of my hair.
Cockroaches came out at night.
Stories for days. Still loving it all.

read more "The Shower"

Letters to My Students

Today has been a grand adventure. We awoke this morning to a lovely buffet. I love seeing what other countries eat for breakfast as it is far different from the American diet. Our spread included lentil curry, potatoes, hotdogs and veggies, a soup, pasta, and an assortment of other meat items. The Indian food was quite delicious. Following breakfast we headed down to see the train since people ride on the top and sides. It was incredible to walk through the streets and see the different ways people travel and the completely different way people live.

It’s not better or worse per say, just different than what we are used to. It makes me feel so much gratitude for the systems we have in place like how to deal with trash. Walking down the streets and having trash piled everywhere, goats and cows walking through the trash, the river and sewer completely polluted, made me extra grateful for our trash cans. You know what was awesome, I saw a man collecting plastic to recycle. Made me think of you Greet Team.
From there we went to the airport to get on another flight to Cox’s Bazar. The experience was way different than in America. You will see in the video that you just walk out to the plane and get on. There are not a lot of regulations.
Upon arrival we were able to begin our service by packing food which we will take to the refugee camps tomorrow. They are given a monthly allotment but it’s not enough food so Hope and Amal supplement the allotments.
It’s pretty hot and humid here so when we got back everyone was excited to shower and sleep but as you saw in the video.... the shower was full of black sludge. Do you know what we did in a situation like this? We laughed. A lot.
I think that’s the most important thing I want you to learn about today. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, sometimes things are bad, sometimes they are really bad but we can control how we react. It’s not easy for me and it’s something I’m working on all the time but we have control. We can choose how we respond and how we react to things that happen to us. So when the shower turned black... we laughed and moved forward. I hope this week you can remember to choose your reactions and make them good choices.
Make good choices. Do good. Be kind.

Miss you guys!

—————————————-
Dear students,

Today was our first day in the camps. We headed to Leda camp. We started the journey and due to a closed road and lots of traffic it took a little longer than three hours. The driving here is something else. There are not cars but there are buses, vans, and so many tuk tuks. The roads are one lane each and full of pot holes. People don’t have or follow traffic rules so you drive on whatever side you want and pass whenever you want. The way you signal is by honking, a lot. So much honking.
Driving through the country was beautiful. It is covered in rice fields as well as salt fields where they evaporate water and collect salt. You will see people out in the fields planting rice and lots of cows grazing. It is quite serene and a vast contrast from the busy dirty city.
After about three hours we started to drive through the camps. The camps are built on the hillsides and are very close together. The living structures are composed of bamboo and tarps.
Upon arrival at Leda camp we distributed the dry food kits we made the night before. The people were so thankful. We then led a women’s class and heard stories from some of the refugees. Guys, it’s really sad and I’ll go more into that as I learn more this week and provide you with more information from the camps.
As we walked through we were surrounded by children of all ages. They wanted to say hello and wave. When we pulled out balloons and bubbles you would have thought we had gold bars. Their eyes lit up and the field filled with laughter. The joy that balloon brought lit up the room.
What things in your life bring that much joy? What makes you truly happy? Yesterday we talked about controlling your reactions and today I want you to think about joy and happiness. It’s a choice. It doesn’t matter what iPhone you have or which video game system you play. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have or how many hardships come along you can choose to be happy and find something to make you smile. Smile. Do it a lot. The smiles that came to those kids faces because of a balloon would make you smile. It made me smile, a lot.
Smile to each other. Smile at recess. Smile while you’re taking that test Friday. Smile.
A lot.

All the time.
———————————-

Dear Students,

Today was a really hard day. It started off quite pleasant though. We headed to one of the head people of the Amal Foundation’s house where we had a traditional breakfast and then began to get food ready for hot distribution. First, we had to pack the rice. The rice was on a huge tarp on a bedroom and reminded me of a sand box full of rice. We scooped it up into take out containers and then sent it to the next room where chicken and potatoes were bagged up and added. Finally it went to the third room where it was taped shut and added to the pile. We made one thousand of these! Imagine how much rice that was.
From here we loaded the food onto. Truck and headed to the camp for delivery.
Upon arrival we unloaded the food and had the people create lines. Lines full of little children from ages two up. Some had only one article of clothing on, others had nothing. Most went without shoes but they waited eagerly for what food we could give them. All started off well as they came through and we handed them food but then things got tense. More and more people came and the lines started to blur. Our people with help from the camp aides had to create barriers and the refugees began to push forward in desperation for food. Little kids began to cry and get stomped on, as older children and adults pushed past them trying to grab at the food. Hands came from everywhere trying to grab and take as people shouted to keep back and tried to keep order. Helped got stickers and attempted to keep control by whacking the sticks near people. The scene was tense and very emotional.
Once complete we were able to sit in one of the living structures and listen to four women tell their stories of escape from Myanmar. They told of the military coming to their villages and shooting while they ran to hide. They told of their homes being burned to the ground as they fled leaving behind family members. They told of their stories trying to get to Bangladesh. They told of their new life here in the camps. I’m going to go more into their stories later as I learn and hear more.
As I think back on the experience and the emotions I felt from food distribution what I want you to take away today is to be aware of your own excess. Sometimes we take for granted things that come easily. We eat multiple times a day and never really think twice about it. Sometimes we are upset that we have to eat our vegetables and don’t get our favorite foods but the fact that we have so much food is a huge blessing. We can just walk to the fridge or pantry and grab some food. We need to remember to be thankful for that. When we pile our plates high and then throw away what we don’t want or when leftovers get trashed just because we don’t want to eat the same thing... I ask you to think twice. Box up your leftovers and give them to the man on the corner who is hungry rather than throw them away. Cook your vegetables that need to be used quickly rather than tossing them. Use the banana that is too ripe to make bread or throw in a smoothie. Think twice about what you toss and take each meal with gratitude. We may not be able to stop the hunger crisis around the world but we can reduce our waste.

You can make a change.

—————-
Today we went to a different refugee camp. Because the roads are so bad and the camp is built on the hill we had to hike in. The first thing I want to tell you to be thankful for today is air-conditioning. It is so hot and humid here! As we started to walk in all the kids ran to the edge of the camp to say hello. These children were a lot more timid than at the other camps. The other thing that stuck out to me immediately was the beauty of the landscape and camp. While it was such dire conditions it surely was stunning. Makeshift houses dotted the hillsides while rice fields surrounded the valleys. The homes were once again co stricter out of bamboo and tarps. Literally just a small rectangle and the entire family lived inside. Most of them have little to no possessions.
We began our assent through the living structures to the top of the hill where the children’s center was. A rectangular room full of mats where the kids can come to play and learn.
Upon arrival we started the day by hearing more of the stories of the refugees. These too told of family members being killed while villages were burned to the ground and they had to flee for their lives. Each story a little different but each story wound with the same thread of sadness and heartbreak.
After hearing stories we were able to pass out the dolls you guys made as well as other dolls made by people all over the US. To many of the kids this would be their only toy and to some their only possession. As we climbed the hills the children began to come out from their bamboo huts and approach us wearily at first but with time more forcefully. We handed them the dolls and they scooped them up with their faces full of joy and smiles.
The other thing that was fascinating was showing them their reflection in our phones. I don’t know if they had ever seen their own faces before and they would giggle and run away but then come back to see again. It was so cute.
We ended the day by weaving a bamboo roof atop a hill. It was neat to see the many ways they have invented to use the bamboo and to have a little look into what it is like to build a structure.
When I think about the message I want to leave you with today I’m thinking about what Mother Theresa taught. She said that not everyone can do great things but everyone can do small things with great love. Think about that. We can’t all literally change the world but we can all do things that change our world. We can all do things that are small but make a difference to someone. Who can you help today? What small act of kindness can you do that will make a difference to someone? I want you to specifically think of one thing you can do today to serve and help someone else. Then do it. And smile. And choose to be happy.
Miss yah all!

Just a few more days to outdoor ed!
————-

Dear Students,

Today we ventured back to Hakim Para. I really love the beauty of this place set in the hill, surrounded by rice fields. The kids greeted us with, “hello, how are you.” We climbed to the top of the camp and began by building. We sawed, weaved, whacked, separated, and manipulated the bamboo into a wall.
As the rest worked I went off with Becky to learn from a local about her religion and method of prayer. It was an incredible experience to sit in her hut and watch her teach us how she prays. She spoke of her religion and devotion to her God. She talked about how this has helped her through the troubles she has faced. The Rohingya are Muslims which is why they were persecuted in Myanmar so learning about her culture and life was inspiring.
As we sat with her on this bare mat in her empty hut I thought about her story. Her husband had been killed and she was in the camps with her seven children. In her religion and culture she will not marry again so she will be a single mom for the rest of her life. We are so very blessed to live in a country where we can choose to practice any religion or no religion.
We then said goodbye and headed to another hut to teach the women about hand washing while then men interviewed more people about their stories.
We ended the day by planting trees and handing out yoga balls to the children. One member of our group connected with a school who had also studied refugees and wanted to help. They raised money for our project and then bought beach balls for the kids. They also drew pictures and we handed those out too. The kids were so excited. As we left the camp the children all waved goodbye and shouted Bye bye bye! It was so cute.
“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.” Howard Zinn
This is the quote I shared with my group this morning as our morning inspiration. I think it’s important to remember it’s not about how big the service project is or the long term effect of the project. It’s about changing ourselves, helping someone else and with our own change making the world a better place. Just a reminder than the small things count, they make a difference, and they are important. You are important. Each of you are loved. Each of you are cared about. Each of you can help someone else.
Who will you serve today?
Good luck on your math test. You are going to do great. Remember positive self talk and to try your personal best.
With love,
Ms. Cioffi
--------

This morning I was talking to one of you about your fears about camp. I think the important thing to note is that it is ok to feel fear and be afraid of new experiences but don’t let that fear keep you from accomplishing the things you want to. I get scared and anxious every time I travel to a new country but if I let that fear take hold I would never have a chance to see the world and make a change. You have to face those fears and believe in yourself. I know you all can.
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Mandela
So today I faced my anxiety and got on a 16 hour plane to Qatar. Think about that... I would have been on the plane for two full school days! But they have food and movies and even an empty middle seat!

I have a 15 hour layover here in Qatar so I’m taking a tour and I’ll take notes as I go so you guys can learn about this country with me.
We went to the old town markets and it was like being in Aladin. Easily my favorite part.
Some things to learn about Qatar on our tour:
2.8 million people

85% expats (people from another country)

180 nationalities

Rarely rains

Water comes from sea they desalt it

Arabic is official language

Major religion is Muslim

1 USD = 3.6

Typically warm

Rocky terrain

First Income from fishing and pearl diving; now- oil

Qatar has one of the lowest tax rates in the world

Worlds richest country

Lowest crime rate in the Middle East

One of safest countries in world

Medical care is free for locals

Goat, sheep, and camels found here

If you live here for 20 years and speak Arabic you can apply for citizenship

Oryx is national animal

Arabian camels can store 35kg of fat which turns into water and energy when they can’t find water or food

5,000 a month to rent an apartment on the Pearl, a man made island

Traditional clothing is worn, it helps with heat and sandstorms

Women wear the hijab- just like in Amal Unbound

Handshakes are not common here

Traditional foods are seafood based

Pork is not served

There is a royal family who lives in a palace and his majesty’s face is all over the buildings and cars

Camel racing and falconry are popular

World Cup will be held here is 2022

Weekend is Friday and Saturday

Work week starts on Sunday

read more "Letters to My Students"

Hope Humanitarian: Bangladesh; Rohingya Refugees

I have been given an incredible opportunity to take time off work and start 2019 off right with a humanitarian trip to Bangladesh. Let's give you a little background before this trip begins. 

I'd been looking for and praying to find a company to do a humanitarian trip with. Finding one that does good work, for a decent price, and works with local in country companies is hard and takes time. The ones I usually travel with cater to the younger crowd and I was hoping to find something with people a tad bit older. My journey this last year had been hard as everything I thought I found or aligned fell through. 

Planning my own trip to Guatemala... volcano explodes

Waiting for the annual Thanksgiving Proof trip... they postpone to March

Decide to go to Haiti over Thanksgiving... they cancel it

Find a cool company... they have no current trips scheduled 

Find a friend doing Haiti over Christmas, decide to go.... she decided to switch and not go 

Basically... I was like what is happening. I just want to serve and do a trip but can't make it align. 

Then, Hope Humanitarian posts about a trip in February. This is a company Ben told me about and I was super excited about it...small, meaningful, uses local volunteer companies, funds projects not overhead, not too expensive, good morals, great people... yup, super excited. The problem... they were going in February... when I had school, however, I felt strongly about this and decided there had to be a way. Then it hit, I had an entire refugee unit I wrote last year and this project was working with refugees! I began to draft a letter to my district superintendents and principal to just ask... 90% of me figured there was no way they would say yes but the 10% said I needed to at least try. So I turned it in... and they said YES! Thank you amazing school district for giving me and my students this amazing opportunity.

So... I am going to Bangladesh to work in the Rohingya refugee camps. Have you heard about the genocide in Myanmar? I hadn't either. So we better start off by giving you a little background. 

The company: http://hopehumanitarian.info/

The crisis: http://hopehumanitarian.info/expeditions/bangladesh/

There are one million people who have fled for their lives, fled from a massacre, fled from their villages being burned, fled from their women being raped, fled from their children being burned alive, fled from the worst possible things that could happen in their lives. And now, there are one million people waiting in the camps, waiting for a new home, waiting for hope, waiting for help and safety, waiting for a miracle. 

How can you help? Donations are being collected for our projects here:

https://www.facebook.com/donate/367183287401293/10104771985789199/?fundraiser_source=feed

Every little bit helps. Skip a movie this week, $16, take a break from going out to dinner, $17, skip the morning latte, $4, forego the pedicure, $20, and donate to help those in dire need. The funds go directly to the people and projects not the volunteers, not the overhead of the company. Together, we can make a difference, together we can help those in need, together we can love one another. 

read more "Hope Humanitarian: Bangladesh; Rohingya Refugees"

A Child’s Hope: Mexico

Today we hopped in the car and headed to Chula Vista. We= myself, jessica and zac. I randomly met them on the email list and we decided to save the earth and carpool. Upon arrival we parked at a house, ubered to walmart, and then proceeded to load all of our stuff into a cart and walk to the meeting poing.
Here were tons of families, yes, families! I knew people would be brining some teenagers but I was so excited to see full families with kids as young as 5. This makes me so excited for my future! Also if any of you have families and have wanted to so a humanitarian trip this one is pwrfect! There were families with many young kids, some with all teenages, some young college kids, some older college kids, and then me. Hahahaha. I think I’m the only solo flyer but I’ll take it. We got shirts and hopped in the van, crossed the border, and headed to the orphanage in Baja. We are staying at this one orphange that is super nice! You drive up the hill to the upper campsite and there are these little bungalows all in a row. All of us younger single people went into one together. Jessica and Zac, kiera and her sister lea and then three friends: lindsay, lauren, ans another zac.
From here we headed to our orphanage which is in a lot worse shape. We introduced ourselves to the kids and spent time teaching games, interacting, and just having fun. We had a dinner with them complete with quesadillas, rice, beans, and chicken. After we headed back to our campsite ans had a big bonfire, a debrief and some get to know you games: there are 47 of us.
All 47 of us then shared 4 bathrooms, of which they are really decent, even flushing toliets! The rooms are a square with a lot of bunkbeds. It became apparent fast that it was going to be a hot night as we had three screenless windows and no fan. But all things considered this was so nice comparable to what ive experienced in the past. The accommodations are cute, simple, and clean.
We were assigned to breakfast club so we were up at 5:30am and left to head back into Tijuana. Apparently there was a large dump and people used to come to look for trash to build things, food, etc but then it was closed down leaving this community in need. A church came in and set up a sort of food service where they cook and seeve the kids breakfast every morning and then have church services. We arrived and helped to cook food and serve the kids. We then cleaned up and took a few house baskets to those in need. The home we visited was made from scrap metal and did not consist of much. There was a mother and her two young children home. We then held hands and prayed. It was an incredibly spiritual experience. After that we headed back to the worksite where we helped sort, sweep, clean, and do various projects on the new orphanage that is being built. Then lunch with the cute kids. After making friendship bracelets with them we headed to the beach. The water was suprisingly blue and clear. We ended the night with dinner and shopping in Rosarito. I mostly followed around my new friends as I don’t eat tacos nor do I souvenier shop but we had fun in the market.
Now for sleep.
thursday
woke up. Helped with breakfast. Breakfast burritos with avocado! Yum! Headed to orphanage. Picked a room and painted. Im pretty sure we got more primer on ourselves than the wall but we had fun painting for 5 hours and got the bottom story completely primed. Lunch at the orphanage and then onto another orphanage to interact and play with the kids. They were so excited for the books. One girl was so happy to see island of the blue dolphins because there was a wolf on the front. She went around and showed everyone and then She then kept coming back for more and more books. Uber cute. One boy wanted all the super hero books and insisted I go through all of them to make sure I wasn’t missing any.
We made bracelets, played games, blew bubbles, and did crafts. Dinner was at a taco place after and I ate my weight in avocados. We ended with ice cream and a community circle around the fire doing high lows.
Day Friday
we cooked breakfast at the orphanage for the volunteers and orphans. We made pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns and fruit. Then to the new orphanage site and we primed the outside walls. We were hanging out the upstairs windows and rolling the outside. It was quite comical. We painted until 1 and pretty much finished! Then lunch: quesadilla, beans, and rice. We had a huge soccer game and then a goodbye fiesta at the orphanage.
Tomorrow we will cross back into the USA.
Final thoughts: this is a great organization for families! So wonderful to have kids serving and connecting with the orphans. Families with teenagers also would thrive. It is great for a first humanitarian trip or first trip out of the country. Very easy, cheap, and short. I would absolutely take my family. Would I personally come back? For sure but later when I have kids.
For me it was a fun week connecting with awesome people and working to build an orphanage but it did not have any of the “rip your heart out and create a firey passion within to go and save the world” feeling. But was still a great experience.

read more "A Child’s Hope: Mexico"

I Just Threw Away 1,000 Pounds of Food

"There are hungry kids in China," every mother has said when her children won't finish their food. Yes, there are hungry kids in every country but we can't mail them our leftovers. However, the deeper underlying meaning of eat your food, only take what you can eat, be grateful you have something on your plate, and finish your freaking dinner, are all still there. Food waste, convenience packaging,  ignorance, and laziness in America have come to an all time high and I am at a complete loss of what to do. Yesterday my inner environmentalist ballooned out with a fury and then deflated and brought me to tears.
    Each month I find some sort of local community outreach volunteer project. I rope Abby into coming and it has just become a monthly tradition. This month we picked an organization, which for now, until I do further research on them and give them time to respond to my letters, will remain unnamed. I was super excited about their mission and that we would get some actual deep service helping to feed those in need. Upon arrival we were floored with the fact that 200 other people also showed up at 8:30 on a Saturday to serve. All sorts of groups were there to assist the needy and do what they could. There was a great spirit in the room and a lot of pears. When I mean a lot, I mean about 10,000 pounds. We gathered around the enormous boxes and figured we would be bagging pears into more manageable containers. However, the volunteer coordinator then put us into about 5 groups. Our group was assigned to the giant walk in fridge. Here were pallets upon pallets of food donated by ________, a huge company. This company will also remained unnamed until they have had a chance to respond to my letters and I have had a chance to educate myself more on the laws and hoops they have to jump through.
    I was super excited to see that this big company had donated so many pallets of food they weren't going to be able to use. That excitement lasted all of 2 minutes until I started to learn the truth of what happens.
Medicine. Immediately throw it out.
But, but, but.... it's just over the counter- throw it out.
But, it is vitamins- throw it out
Probiotics? Throw it out.
Cough drops? Throw it out.  THEY DON'T EXPIRE UNTIL OCTOBER! Throw it out.
There goes about 10 cases of perfectly good items- straight into the trash. We didn't open and dump, sort, recycle, nope- straight into the trash. Hello landfill. Not to mention the time, energy, resources it took to make those in the first place, deliver them twice, and now to be disposed of.
Ok, so there must be some law about medicine, vitamins, anything that says "consult a doctor". But... could the volunteers take them home? Could you partner with another organization that can use them? I am pretty sure there is some way to not throw them all away! Also, why is the big company sending them if you just toss everything? Why not tell them what you can and cannot accept. The big company could donate them to someone who would actually use them. Or they could sell these items at half off when they are 6 months out from sell by date. Why would you want to pay for their trash fees anyway? And if we are going to just "throw it away" can we at least dispose of it responsibly?
         Mind blown. Ok. Quell your anger and frustration and keep working.  So I kept working until....
Where does baby food go? Throw it away.
WHAT?
This is literally smashed pears in a squeezy tube. Throw it away.
All of it?
Throw it away.
More cases of perfectly good food- trashed. I am sure there are no hungry babies or toddlers anywhere, that must be why we are throwing it away. Insert deep sarcasm. Also, I would totally eat those smooshed pairs in the squeezy tube that is already a huge waste of plastic- don't get me started.
Jessica, just keep working. You are here to volunteer. Change your attitude.
Excuse me where do we put these flowers? Throw them away.
Are you kidding me?
Throw it away. You can remove the boxes and recycle them then compost the flowers.
By the way reader we are talking flowers, in boxes, that you would send to your loved ones for like $50. Oh we had a whole pallet. Throw it away.
Not only that but when I questioned how to open, correctly sort the parts and compost and recycle the girl was like just put it in the recycling. Ok but I can't put the flower food in there, nor the flowers, nor the tape.... put it in the trash.
At this point I am thinking " Put it in the trash" is this non profit's motto.
So.... why not take all of these great boxed flowers and deliver them with food to the families you serve, or put them outside the warehouse and send them home as a thank you with your 200 volunteers. Or give all the packets of flower food to a florist to use.  I know my wildlife center uses flowers in the bird's cages. What about homes for the elderly, can't we go deliver them?
Throw them away.
Animal food?
Throw it away.
Are you kidding?! Local shelters, including the one I volunteer at, spend $$$$$$$$$ to feed their animal. I am pretty sure the families you serve also probably have pets. The lady right across your street who is homeless has a hungry dog.
Organic, free range, no hormones, yada chicken breasts. Oh the sell by date was yesterday.... Throw it away.
High quality cuts of steak- throw it away.
Dude the sell by date is NOT the expiration date.
Ice Cream- throw it away.
Ok once again if you can't take ice cream why not tell the company and stop accepting it.
At this point I had literally teared up. I was throwing away so SO much meat you cannot even fathom. I was mad at the big box company for having this much excess, I was mad at the non profit for tossing everything, I was mad at society for making a 'I will sue you' everyone is afraid of being sued so we have stupid laws, I was mad at everyone in the room for not caring, I was hurting for all the hunger, all the skin and bone children, and people I have seen begging, and literally starving to death, as I stood here surrounded by food that I was told' throw that away'. I was thinking of the lady and the dog literally across the street in a makeshift house of boxes and tarps who we had given granola bars to earlier and how I could feed her and all of Skid Row for a year on what we threw away in one hour. My mind couldn't get over all the pain and hunger I have seen in my travels as I stood here surrounded by so much excess.
At this point I was so emotional and teary eyed that I told Abby we had to move to a different group. She knew how hard it was for me.
The pears! Let's go back to the pears. We walked out and... the pears were done. We started to help build boxes for the next load: carrots. That is when I saw the dumpster.
Imagine a dumpster- one the size you would find at an apartment complex.... completely full of pears. What the heck? There's got to be hundreds and hundreds of pounds of pears in here....
Some, very few, had mushy spots or broken skin but the majority just had sun spots, lines, or cuts on the skin. Throw it away.
At this point I could  not control it. I stepped outside and through held back tears texted my mom a stream of thoughts, angers, frustrations, and feeling completely helpless just stood there. Build the boxes I told myself. Think of all the people they are feeding, think of all that food from the big box company that would have just gone in the trash, think of the millions of meals they give people each year, think of the laws and binds they have to be under. So, I build boxes. I folded and built lots of boxes and thought about this society we created where we can't give food away because someone might get sick and sue us, I thought about the society we created where we won't eat a banana if it is too long or short, where if an apple is misshapen it is thrown away, where appearance of food matters more than the food. I thought about a society where we turned farming into factory farming which is ruining our environment and has turned animals into a money symbol. I thought about all of my humanitarian trips and the need around the world and also the lack of waste in other countries and how everything is used because it is precious.
So how do we change an entire nation? How do we get people to know that a sell by date is not an expiration date and that the expiration date is still early to keep the company from getting sued? How do we educate people on food waste? How do we stop a consumer society from consuming unnecessary plastic, paper, and resources in the name of convenience? How do we solve the problem of the waste in just this one facility?
I can't even fathom the grander scale because this is just one shop in one town.
Guys, I know there are laws, I know they are trying, I know they are an organization that is doing so much good, but I also know they can do better.
What about a network of nonprofits? An app that connects them? People could post what came in, what they can't use, how much of it they have and when they need to pick it up? What about partnering with local farmers and animal organizations that need to feed animals that would gladly eat the carrot that was imperfect or didn't snap right? What about not accepting items you can't use from big box companies? What if that company didn't only care about overall profits and sold the items at a discount before they "expired"? What if that company donated to an organization that could take it? Hire some volunteers and work just a little harder to save millions of pounds of food a year. I am going to personally volunteer to help them with it and I know there are more people like me. Together we can change.
You can only buy what you need at the grocery store, meal plan, don't throw away your leftovers just because you don't like leftovers. Don't over buy. If food is about to go bad package it up and take it to your local homeless man on the corner. Don't have one? I will tell you where to find them. I take them all the leftovers and food that I know I won't be able to eat and when we ask: Are you hungry? We have never, ever, had someone refuse the food we bring them. Stop "throwing it away" and make a difference in your own household and I will try to make a difference on the grander scale.
My heart broke yesterday but I am determined to do something about it. Now I just need to find the higher ups who will listen.

read more "I Just Threw Away 1,000 Pounds of Food "

Who is Joe and where did you guys go?!

I am going to try to use voice text to write this blog so please forgive any error.

So, let’s start at the beginning. With the question I bet most of you are asking: who is Joe?

Ok yall stop drooling and focus. In order to answer that question I need to back up a bit. When I was dating Eric we had a plan to bring his daughter home from Utah and do a road trip. But when we broke up that left me with a week journey of nonrefundable hotels. I planned to do it on my own but was going to have to tweak a lot of my trip due to the fact that it wasn’t safe or wise to do on my own.
So while on Mutual, a dating app, I saw a guy to love to travel so I messaged him. Within four messages we realized we were both doing a southern Utah national parks tour at the exact same time. Luckily for me he did not have hard set plans and was willing to follow my preset itinerary.

We called each other once, did background checks, and said we were all in. Now, don’t get so worried, we have many mutual friends. In Mormon world traveling with a “stranger“ is not really a huge deal when you can verify them through a friend. So we decided to meet at Capitol reefNational Park visitor Center and do our trip together as travel buddies.
And boy am I glad because I would not have had nearly as much And I would not have been able to do the slot canyon which Would have been super sad.

So, we meet at Capitol reef visitor center and begin our first journey at national Park. We did the scenic drive which was beautiful. After capital reef we decided to go to peek a boo and a spooky slot Canyon something I was really looking forward to.

This was the part of the trip I was going to have to skip because there is a 12 foot climb in and an 8 foot straight down job I would not have been able to do alone. First we parked his car at an RV campground and took my car down the dirt road. This road is no joke. It is 25 miles of rocks, bumps, and washboards. It took an hour to get there and instead of parking at the parking lot we decided to off road to the Trail head even though it said to not take your normal car. We made it with only a broken bumper.
Then we started the dissent into the wash to find the entrance to the Canyon. The climb into peekaboo was slightly challenging but once we got in it was natures paradise and playground. The colors were beautiful and the formation of the rock was stunning. We sleaze and climb and lowered ourselves through and under and on top of the rocks. Once you come out of peekaboo you walk to spooky sticky spot canyon it only 12 inches wide. These ones were crazy because inOrder to get in there is a huge drop. Thank goodness that show is 99% muscle and 1% skin Because he put me on his shoulders and got me into this canyon. It was incredible! As we were enjoying our time in the canyon we realized it was taking longer than Expected and we still had a 25 mile on the dirt road. So we hurried out and up the wash back over all the ruts And started our journey out. She got back in his car and we drove two hours to our hotel in Panguitch so we could do Bryce the next morning. If you are considering the slot canyons you should. I would not take children. It would be doable but more challenging.

The next morning we went to Willis Creek slot canyon in Escalante and hiked through much wider narrow slot Canyon. There was about an inch of water in the creek. We spent a couple hours on this hike and then headed into Bryce.

One in Bryce Canyon national Park we drove the scenic way all the way to the end of the park and then came back to hike Wall Street. We hike and then watch sunset over the Bryson amphitheater.

After that we hung out and waited for complete darkness to s t a r g a z e. Price is one of the darkest places on all of North AmericaWe were going to try night for talker fee but we left the tripod in the other car. Got back to the hotel around midnight. At this point those of you who know me know that this is complete opposite of my normal sleep schedule and I am struggling but what we are doing is totally worth it.

While at the hotel Joe asked me about the wave. I told him I had been interested in it but getting a permit was very hard and you had to do it in person at the Visitor center online ones are sold out. We had a chore reservation for 930 in the morning in page Arizona and I didn’t think it would be possible to even try to enter the lottery. But, Joe wanted to try and so he devised a plan. We would divide and conquer I would leave and drive the two hours to Paige, check us in and he would stop and enter the lottery and then get to Paige as fast as possible. So we start our journey and I don’t hear from him so I assume he is on his way.
All tjese people hoping for a spot

Well at 9:30 Utah time I get a text that says: we won! I literally screamed in the car I thought he was joking but he was totally serious our name was Pulled from among the 31 different groups and about 100 people. Ours was the last one chosen for a single spot but because it was a single they let him take two people himself and me. We literally won the lottery. But now it is 830 Arizona time and he has to be to our tour by 930. I was able to get our two are changed to 10 and the entire thing worked out plus we had permits to a once in a lifetime opportunity hike. Wow.

Joe made it and we headed on our tour of lower antelope Canyon. Lower antelope Canyon is stunning! It is worth the money and the crowd. Just know that 100 people go through every 30 minutes and they tell you what filters to use on the rocks so the colors are there but every picture you see has filters that give you a false idea. Regardless it is something to add to your bucket list, it’s incredible.
One thing I admire about Joe and he can talk to anyone so on every single one of our journeys we had new friends.

When we came out of the slot canyon we decided to change plans and head to the Grand Canyon so that Joe could see it before he went to Moab the next day. My original plan was to drive to the Grand Canyon on Thursday on my way to my Arizona hotel but I was willing to go as long as he drove. So we park my car and load head and stop through a drive-through to grab him some food. But then at the drive-through window The car dies. Dead. To the point of us pushing it. So we pushed it to the dry cleaner and parked it. It was super hot and we think the fan went out and the car overheated. So then Joe hitchhike back to get my car and we moved everything from his car into my car.

Finally, we set off for the grand canyon. Started at the east side of the Grand Canyon and then went to South rim we did not have enough time to hike down into the Grand Canyon but we walked the rim and waited at the end for a beautiful sunset.

He climbed to the edge of an overhang thing on our feet off the rim and watched a majestic sunset, complete with a man singing gospel song and serenading us from the other side of the mountain LOL. It was beautiful we then walked to the shuttle and missed the last shuttle by one minute which would not have been such a big deal but Joe.‘s blood sugar crash and he was not going able to walk back to the car. So once again we hitchhiked to the visitor center. Then we began the long drive back to Paige. At this point we realized we would get to Paige at midnight I need to leave at 4 AM…Bummer that we had a hotel and I was also very worried that now on day four I still haven’t been able to sleep.

***remember this was written using voice text***

However we both wanted to see Horshoe Bend and this would be our only chance because we had to get to the wave before it got too hot.

We got up at 4:30 and went to watch sunrise but what we did it now is that it was just over a mile hike to horseshoe Bend so he had to jog it in order to catch the sunrise, totally worth it. Horseshoe bend might be one of my favorite places it is beautiful!

We then headed back to the hotel to grab our stuff and make our journey to the wave Trail head. When we started our hike I was a little worried because I was at my breaking point as far as sleep and exertion goes and was worried I was going to either faint or start throwing up. So I chugged my first energy drink filled up with water and protein bars and away we went. There is no Mark Trail you get a map with some pictures and guidelines of where to go but you are in the middle of the wilderness hiking over is wavy red rocks and through the sand. It was not an easy hike but not necessarily hard just a lot of up and down the Sand though is very very hard to walk in.

 So we hugged the rock and that train as much as we could to avoid the sand. It was 2.6 miles in and relatively hot but still doing OK. When we walked into the ways I was blown away. It is one of natures all inspiring beautys. It looks exactly like the picture. It was a group of about four guys and a husband and wife who are traveling so we took pictures and chatted with them for a while before they left. Then we had the waves to ourselves as one of only 20 people who would see it that day. I could not believe the colors and lines and curvature of the rock. Joe then hiked up to a very high arch rock I hiked eight more Platte pass to see what else I can discover in this landscape.

When the time came to go I was feeling weak but OK until we walked out of the shade and realize it was over 100° and we were on Sand and red rock which made it even hotter. Instantly our skin began to cook and I started to chug on water. After the first up down I knew I had a problem. I was at my lowest point energy and sleep wise I had been in years and began to feel very weak and nauseous. I was worried about heat exhaustion but we have 3 miles to go to get out of that.The other problem was we should have brought more water Joe was totally fine but I was struggling more than I ever had on a hike. We needed to keep one water bottle for him incase his blood sugar crAsh and we had to make joe juice To bring it back up. There was a point on the hike where I literally just cried and prayed because I did not know how I was going to make it out of here but was also trying to be tough and not “complain”. When we had just a mile to go at turn and which is hard but then luckily it turned to wash bed which was easier but at this point I was on fire and had zero energy. Joe checked his blood sugar and then you just left water bottle to completely douse me. Not sure if that was the best idea but I would not have made it out without that it gave me a nice way to a call. When I finally made it to the car I held my clothes with ice that melted instantly because I was on fire. Because a couple of cold water bottle and then we started to drive out.

We had to get the car to the mechanic before closing oh and also Joe. had lost his drone which was another problem. I decided to milk my hotel in Kingman to Friday and stay another night and Paige to make sure his car was working and he found his drone.

He went to find his drone and I went to swim in Lake Powell. Lake Powell is so beautiful. I love the scenery of the rock on the blue water. I need to plan a trip to go out there on a house. After swimming I was trying to find a hotel but my phone hates page Arizona and it cannot for the life of it get reception anywhere so after driving around the town for a half an hour I was so frustrated I just pulled over and found a hotel. Then we went back to horseshoe Bend for sunset. We hiked to the right this time and sat on the edge of a cliff watching the sunset over our shit then it was a great way to start and end the day in the same place even though it felt like a week of time had gone in just one day. This morning he got up and left to continue the search for his drone and then head to Moab a day late because of the broken car. I am going to head to a few State Park in Arizona before stopping in Kingman

read more "Who is Joe and where did you guys go?!"