From the Words of Nick

Nick is a volunteer in my group. 

He is also a talented and hilarious writer. 

If you want to know what teaching is really like. Please read. 

Even if you don't, read it anyway. 

Laughter is good for the soul.

http://nickinnanjing.blogspot.sg/2015/03/tales-of-teacher-nick.html?m=1

Go to his blog. Follow it. 

Here are his words:

Tales of Teacher Nick

Let me first take a moment to point out how diligent I am at blogging consistently about my adventures in China. Aka I literally haven’t written anything since the first week I got here. If it weren't for the pictures I’ve randomly posted, you’d assume I was kidnapped and trafficked, which probably wouldn't be all that bad because I have light hair and I’d be worth a lot of money. I’d probably live in a really nice house or on a yacht somewhere. Seems like a decent trade-off for slavery. 

We were fortunate enough to get a month long vacation right at the beginning of our stay here in China, hence my long absence from the blogging community in which I’m so highly esteemed and established. Now that I’m back from dreamland and doing what I came here to do, I’ll be combining my weekly experiences of teaching, with stories from my travels to make the most enthralling online experience you've ever been a part of. 

Let’s begin. 

My days of teaching have become blurred together in one giant exhausting whirlwind of screaming children and sore vocal chords. Think of it as the scene from the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy is right in the middle of the tornado seeing all those scary things flying past her window. One moment I see a cute, squinty eyed angel saying something adorable that melts my heart. In an instant the angel is gone and replaced by a squinty eyed hellion who places his hand down his backside, then smells his fingers for dramatic effect and loud reactions from his appalled audience. I try to remove the latter experience and similar traumatic events from my memory permanently. 

This week I made harmonicas with my classes. At the beginning of the week we constructed a big one together out of empty plastic bottles that were different sizes. We lined them all up and taped them together from tallest to shortest. The kids let out audible gasps followed by oooos and awwwws when I demonstrated the use of our instrument by blowing in the bottles quickly from left to right. In that moment I felt like my invention was worthy of a Nobel prize. 

I made the mistake of letting the kids make their own harmonicas days later with straws. Despite my specific instructions NOT to touch the straws upon handing them out, they were all over the floor and in mouths and noses in a matter of seconds. With my glasses hanging off my face and sweat dripping off the ends of my hair, I rounded up the all the pieces and we made beautiful hand crafted instruments that resonated stunning melodies through the cold dirty walls of our school. We’re going on a summer tour so keep a close eye on smithtix, because it’s going to be a sold out show. 

When the kids speak we reward them with tickets that are redeemable for prizes. After tallying the count for each student, I went around collecting the tickets. When I came to Spring (my favorite), she claimed that she had already put the tickets in my bag. I had only just come to her, so I knew this wasn't true and I argued it. She INSISTED that she had already given them to me. I gave her that head down, looking up with your eyes look that mothers give you when they catch you in a lie and said, “Spriiiiiiing... Give me your tickets.” She smiled slowly and unzipped the pocket on her sleeve to reveal all of her tickets. Who even uses the sleeve pocket on their coat?! I’ll tell you who. A thief. Spring is a downright thief. And I love it. She scavenges the most random objects. On my birthday she gave me a happy meal toy. She didn't know it was my birthday beforehand. It just seemed like a suitable gift for me among the other things in her coat.  Last week she pulled a carton of milk from her pocket and set it on the table like it was lunchtime. I asked her to put it away. When I turned my back to help another student, I heard her breathe a sigh of satisfaction that you hear in a coke commercial after that first initial gulp of goodness. I turn around to see spring sipping her milk happily like a suckling baby from its mother’s tit. I couldn't even be mad at her, because her sneaky deception keeps me entertained. 

Here she is plotting how she's gonna pick pocket me

Ahhhhhh these kids keep me young. And by that I mean they're accelerating my aging process immensely. Good thing they're cute. 

Stay tuned for more laughs at my expense.