1. I decided it would be fun to make cookies for Dimas family because they are coming back from Russia tomorrow. Who is Dima you ask. Dima is awesomeness bottled in a jar. He is our country coordinator boss man.
2. Back to the cookies. Okay. Every country has it's differences luckily butter looks the same. ✔️That was easy. Eggs look the same. ✔️That was easy. Where is my staples easy button. Oh wait flour... Well everything is in lithuanian. Analyze all the half used bags in the cupboard. Hmmmm. After a considerable taste test / color/ texture I decided on what looked to be the closet to flour. Should be good enough. Baking soda? Um, something in te cupboard said soda so that seemed okay. Salt✔️ Vanilla... In powdered form? Um okay. Because you don't really need that liquid do you? Brown sugar? Well there is some serious deep brown sticky stuff that somewhat resembles sugar crystals.
3. Mix. Well... That's one contraption we do not have but we do have a ladel. Of all things a ladel.... Not a mixing spoon but a ladel. So I use my ladel to mix my overly thick batter with ingredients I'm not so sure of oh and no chocolate chips so I use the candy bars that have been here for who knows how many semesters but at this point: what the hell.
4. Cook. What the freak the oven only goes to 250 degrees. Whatever. Guess I will just cook them longer. Good thing I mentioned this step out loud so my roommate could inform me that the oven is in Celsius. Yeah.
5. Put cookies in oven.
6. Take a peek... Well people I need to announce that he cookies are now one huge blob. Someone said too bad we don't have ice cream we could make a huge pizookie. Freaking genius! If we run we can get to the market in time. So pajama bottoms that are too big, hoodie that is too short, mismatched running shoes, socks that have not been washed in days and a purse. Oh this is attractive. As we begin our mad dash my hair bun falls out and my hair which has been tightly wrapped all day proceeds to grow Into a hagrid size poof ball. I'm holding my pant legs up as I run trying to stay out of the puddles and my roommate is half laughing half screaming that she needs to pee and oh wait #2 as well. No I didn't just type #2 because I am embarrassed to say poo. She is literally running down the street saying I need to go #2 hurry! In which case my baggy pants, hagrid hair, mess of a self heaves over laughing hysterically while still trying to run and dodge puddles.
7. Enter store totally mortified at this point at how I look but determined to find ice cream. But do they even sell ice cream in containers? We could buy sticks and just pull the stick out. Okay start collecting individual ice creams to pull sticks out. Wait! Oh my heck. Literally. Ice cream in a tube! Seriously. It's so amazing we have I buy it. Grab it and run.
8. Begin the run home. Except at this point my roommate is dying and proceeds to waddle home because a run jiggles too much.
9. Enter house sweating and laughing.
10. The one thing I told roommate not to do is burn the cookies. Hehehehehe the oven cooks totally unevenly so the front half she wTched are perfect and the back is burnt. Oh well. Open ice cream pull out stick, squeeze ice cream from tube.
11. Grab spoons and devour.
12. Lithuanian cookies suck.
Oh yeah and Dima didn't get any of these. Sorry Dima.
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